Holiday survival tips

These times do try us, and never more than during the holiday season when things are supposed to be happy and bright. A few weeks ago I threw a Level 2 tantrum when I couldn’t access the internet to get my shopping list from Safeway’s app. (I offer Sandy’s Adult Temper Tantrum Scale for your reference below). Several bad words, some yelling, and a slammed phone later, I slunk off to Safeway (having created a list from memory and then forgetting it on the kitchen counter) to brave the Saturday before Thanksgiving grocery shopping crowd. It took me the ten minute drive to the store to stop being mad at myself for acting like a loon and remind me that a) my cursing is indeed creative (go me); b) that was a ridiculous and impressive little snit fit I threw; and c) so what, I’m not perfect. I also reminded myself that I forgot to follow the pretty good advice I give my clients around the holidays/any time you have to be with your family of origin for more than 12 hours.

I offer this pretty good advice below as a reminder to myself and a ray of hope for you that there are some ways to keep the holidays (mostly) happy and bright. Unless you hate the holidays, which is legit, and in that case, these might make it less difficult to get through all the sparkle and hoopla.

1. Remember to eat regularly. Hell hath no fury like me and many others when we are hungry and/or slightly inconvenienced. For instance, had I eaten breakfast that morning, I might not have been so frustrated with the wifi situation in my kitchen.
2. Don’t overspend. It will likely make you anxious while you are doing it, and depressed when the credit card bill is due. Make a budget for food and gifts for the holidays and stick to it. No one will like you less if you buy them an inexpensive gift (and if they do, they aren’t much fun to shop for anyway).
3. Limit your time with your family if there is moderate to significant dysfunction at family gatherings, which in my experience describes most families. If you are staying with family, plan no longer than 72 hours. If you’re in a hotel, you might be able to stay longer.
4. Know your emergency exits. If Uncle Bob is deep in the egg nog and Aunt Beulah is waxing obnoxious about politics, or if Mom is adjusting the seasoning in every damn thing you cooked, and Dad is calculating how much electricity is being used by running the oven all day, LEAVE. Temporarily by taking a walk or a drive if you are unable to manage your boundaries and feeling overwhelmed, or permanently if someone is being unkind or hurtful.

 
Sandy’s Adult Temper Tantrum Scale
There is no basis in science or research for this scale. I made it up and it is accurate (she said modestly). Above Level 2, consider calling a counselor for some help managing your emotions.
 
Level 1: Raised voice, crying, cursing, possible finger pointing and blaming
Level 2: Yelling, creative cursing, slamming items around
Level 3: Screaming, creative cursing, items valued under $100 broken
Level 4: Screaming, nasty cursing, items valued over $100 broken, cut, or burned
Level 5: Human or animal injured/police called